There is no question that facility managers need to be viewed as positive, influential leaders in the eyes of their staff. In an attempt to be viewed in this light, facility managers tend to insert their opinions at inopportune times, rather than letting staff have the floor to air a perspective or share an idea. Just saying “no” to oneself often is more difficult than saying it to others.
Focus group discussions with facility management staff have identified staff meetings as the most obvious times when facility managers feel the need to interject opinions that drive a discussion rather than encouraging staff to voice theirs.
In a Wall Street Journal article, Sabina Nawaz, a global CEO coach and leadership describes this phenomenon as the inability of managers to exercise the “shut-up muscle” when they should be inviting staff to voice their ideas to the group. Through her research Nawaz discovered the typical norm for staff meetings is for the manager to voice opinions first, which discourages staff from participating in the discussions. Frequently, managers resort to this approach due to the lack of dialogue among staff, so it becomes a means for filling the awkward space of silence. Her suggestion is to become the third voice in any group discussion since the voices most likely to shut down when a manager speaks first are those with dissenting opinions. While it is important for facility managers to control negative input and say no when it becomes disruptive, allowing staff with opposite opinions to speak first opens the door for more robust staff discussions. Once the dissenters have spoken, facility managers can interject their viewpoint and then facilitate additional discussion. Other key tips for saying no to oneself include:
Watching for interruption triggers. It is hard for facility managers to hold back in a staff meeting but there are certain triggers in staff discussions managers should monitor when they have the urge to jump in. Facility managers should track key words and concepts that tend to provoke them and make them want to take charge of the discussion too soon. In some instances, virtual meetings make it easier to avoid interruptions as facility managers can mute themselves until they want to take control of the discussion again.
Taking notes. Not only does it help facility managers track staff that actively participate, but taking notes while others are speaking allows them to capture critical points that may need reinforcement or further discussion. It provides factual material to use in praising staff for points well made or asking for additional comments on a particular issue.
Summarizing and paraphrasing. One way for facility managers to regain control of a meeting but also look like the smartest person in the room is to stop the discussion, paraphrasing points made by individual staff members and summarize where the discussion is headed and the next steps. Another tool for facility managers is to establish a policy in staff meetings where someone else, on a rotating basis, provides the paraphrasing and summarizing portion of the meeting. Using this technique ensures staff members are paying attention but also allows them to have an important final voice before action items are developed and assignments are made.
Saying no effectively is an acquired skill. Practice saying no as a facility manager by learning how to assess what senior managers, customers and staff are asking and then establish personal policies that clearly define what is acceptable and what is not. Learn to shed the fear of losing valuable workplace relationships by saying no and turn the no response into a positive experience.
Stormy Friday is founder and president of The Friday Group, an international facilities services consulting firm.
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