'The Toilet Paper Gave Me a Rash' and Other Facilities Complaints

Facilities professionals submit complaints they have received about disappearing light switches, scary vines and more.   May 9, 2023

By FacilitiesNet Staff

FacilitiesNet recently shared some of our favorite outrageous requests from facility managers in commercial offices and government facilities. There were pooping dogs, improperly placed tea cozies, bad tasting Splenda and who could forget the “low-hanging nuts.”  

We asked readers to share even more. Here are some of the best and funniest stories we received from facility managers in government and office facilities. 

"While working at a major pharmaceutical's world headquarters, we switched to green certified paper products. One client complained after six months in that the toilet paper must have a substance on it that gave her a rash. I politely explained that we slowly rolled it out over six months one floor at a time in one building, then one building at a time. There were 6,000 occupants on site and this was the only complaint. Since she was an executive admin, we had to take her sample send it back to the manufacturer and have them test it. "

"The food waste can in the pantry is the wrong color. "Everyone" knows that green is the universal color for recycling, and facilities has clearly broken the rules by installing a can with a green lid for collecting food waste." 

"The tenant was on the second floor and there was a beautiful vine that grew up a column to the building exterior from the landscaping below. Everyone loved the look, but one woman said it scared her, she was afraid it would grow inside and “get” her. We had to cut it down. "  

"We service a campus, and facilities management sits mostly in one location. Most recently, the staff member could not locate the conference room light switch on the wall and demanded that we immediately come over and flip the switch. We attempted to walk her through it over the phone (it wasn't a hidden location), but that wasn't good enough. Security was on-site and walked right over to the wall we instructed. A piece of paper that she had posted had fallen over and covered the light switch in question." 

"One person outlined their feet with black marker to show men where to stand to hit the toilet properly so as not to leave urine on the floor or the toilet seat."  

Inappropriately labeled soap dispensers. End users were outraged when we installed separate hand soap and dish soap automated dispensers in pantries because we used devices that had a pictograph (wave hand under here to dispense) and added a "Hand" or "Dish" label. Clearly we were too stupid to understand that the pictograph meant these were strictly to be used for hand soap!  

"Here at our History Museum we had a constant complaint from an office worker who didn't like the temperature in her office — all the time. I suggested to the facilities manager we install a thermostat in her office, since her room temperature was controlled from the next door office. He said it's not that simple to run air lines to the wall cabinet and thermostat. I said just hang a thermostat, it doesn't need to be connected to anything, it just will allow her to play with it. So we did. We got an outstanding compliment email! She said that when she gets cold she just cranks up the heat. I also installed warm colored fluorescents in her office for subliminal heating, too."  

Do you have a similar story to share or think you can top these? Submit your most outrageous complaint today. 


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